so last night clubbing a guy asked me to dance, out of all my friends and he was complimenting me telling me how goodlooking i was and he looked me up and down not just my face, i mean it did make me feel really good about myself.. but when we were dancing i felt so gross his hands were wrapped around me touching my stomach and i kept wondering… does my fat gross him out as much as it grosses me out? I didn’t come until 2 or fall asleep until around 3 so i’m too exhausted and have no motivation to work out today. blah.

suddenly i don’t feel bad going a little over my target calorie intake, my friend ate an entire bag of peel and pull twizzlers in one sitting which i calculated would be over 1,200 calories. Still pisses me off how fast her metabolism is and how skinny she is and she can do that all she wants. I’m really hungry and avoiding eating at the moment.

day 5 of my diet, 100 calories today… I have no clue what to eat.. I’m afraid if I start eating.. I won’t be able to stop. I guess i’ll wait until my mom goes shopping later and buys veggies and i’ll just snack up on that. I’m going to the gym today with my friend, my friend who is also really skinny and I feel awkward going with her but it’s whatever.. Also later I’m going to a 21 and under club with a group of friends.. no idea what to wear and they don’t serve food so i’m happy to know there won’t be any temptations! wishhh me luck..